general humor

Who’s the Boss?

Tony Danza? Bruce? Nope. It turns out NO one wants to be the boss.

How do I know? That would be called: I am applying for a job. Here are some sample job requirements taken from Real Live job descriptions:

  • Demonstrated ability to organize self/others; work independently/take initiative
  • Self-directed
  • Self-starter

Do you know what these words are code for? Simply: We are all so ridiculously busy working at this place that you will never have a boss check in with you as she walks in the door. Or in the office kitchen. Or even for a yearly review. Because the internet and email have made completing the work of this job impossible within the hours that we are not sleeping and we hope you’ll come, sit in your cubicle, crank out your work and be happy rotting away in your self-directed/self-starter/wondering if you’re doing a good job hell. All alone. And possibly on fire.

Good genius!

Personally, I avoid these jobs. Mostly because when I sit in a cubicle, I work my alpha off and I enjoy it when someone comes to check in with me to make sure my alpha-working-off is going okay.

A boss is a good person to complain to about the angry customer you had to deal with and who you hoped would be less angry after you patiently helped them. But they weren’t. And you need someone to remind you that the customer probably came out of the womb angry. Or has hip pain.

Bosses are also good for having unspoken crushes on so that you can look forward to meetings!

And the Best Bosses will let you cry in their office when you keep trying to get the Information Technology manager to do his job so your roll-out of 300 new corporate-wide computers will actually go on schedule and the Best Boss won’t even judge you for crying and being frustrated or make the IT Manager do his work, but will simply listen and help you get the project back on track. But, that’s just a general example of how a good boss can help.

So, here’s to the bosses who like being bosses; the raise-giving bosses; the check-in before they’ve hung up their jacket bosses; the tell-you-you’re-doing-a-great-job bosses; the help-you-when-you-have-a-problem bosses.  Here’s to YOU!

Categories: general humor

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