stepford wives

Are You a Stepford Wife?

I will often spot a Stepford Wife in downtown Swankington and then make fun of her on Facebook. The funny thing is that many of my friends end up taking my comments personally, thinking they are just like the Stepford Wife I’m ridiculing. But it’s not true! So I decided to create the Are You a Stepford Wife quiz, so that everyone can see if they are — in fact — a Stepford Wife.

Plus, what kind of woman would I be if I didn’t offer you a good women’s-style-magazine-like quiz? Taking quizzes about whether we’re satisfying our partners or have “fat habits” is what life is all about!

The Stepford Wife Quiz:

1 Are you a full-time mom but have a nanny?

2 Have you ever asked your nanny to dress your child(ren) but then dressed them again, because the nanny did not include a matching barrette or belt?

3 Is your idea of ‘doing math,’ figuring out how many hours it is until your children come home from school?

4 Have you ever complained about your neighbor’s yard to a stranger?

5 Do you think the word car is spelled S-U-V?

6 Are any of your children named after the coastal town in which they were conceived?

7 Are you afraid to go for a walk without a similarly dressed friend OR your yellow dog?

8 Does your home have a stone base, natural cedar shakes, white trim and any of the following windows: round or square?

9 Do you consider a bottle of red wine a meal?

10 Are you a Total Fucking Bitch?

Answer ‘yes’ to all 10 questions and — guess what! — you ARE a Stepford Wife.

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8 replies »

  1. Thank goodness I took your quiz and found out I am NOT a Stepford Wife. Oops, gotta go… my nanny just arrived with a new matching headband/skirt combo for my daughter Newport; I need to walk my yellow dog; then hop in my SUV and hit the new liquor store in Swankington to pick up dinner; I’ve got someone coming by to clean all the round windows on my house and you can be sure he and I will have a long talk about how disgusting the neighbor’s yard is (it’s just gross); and I have only 4.5 hours until the kids get home from school to get this all done!

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