funny feminism

Matronizing

I’ve had this joke running through my head lately that there is a reason the word patronizing starts with the Latin root word for father, as in: hahahaha! Men are soooooooooo patronizing.

Then someone called me patronizing. And you may not know this, but I am a woman.

At first I felt horrible about myself, like I’d done something Really Wrong. Then I started to think about what I could possibly be accused of being patronizing toward. These were the only things I could come up with:

  • Men
  • Republicans
  • Republican men
  • Partiers
  • Tea Partiers
  • Religious people who tell me what to believe
  • Religious people who tell me what to do
  • Anyone who tells me what to do
  • Anyone who tells me to do core exercises
  • Rhode Island
  • Rhode Island drivers
  • Luxury car drivers
  • Rhode Island luxury car drivers
  • Stepford wives
  • Stepford husbands
  • Stepford kids with an attitude
  • Mean people
  • White people
  • Pasty white people
  • Country singers
  • Western singers
  • Boston
  • Boston teams
  • Boston fans

Ohmygawd. Look at this list. I am really patronizing! And I didn’t even include “people who are patronizing toward me.”

But you know what? I’m actually quite proud. I feel like men have always had a monopoly on being patronizing and I’ve just become the first woman to enter law school, or become an engineer or computer programmer. I’ve broken the patronizing glass ceiling. I am, if you will: matronizing.

In my next post, I’ll deal with being accused of  “passive-aggressive churlishness,” which I think is Totally Unfair, because — personally — I think my churlishness is one hundred percent aggressive-aggressive. LOOK! It’s a unicorn:

It was really hard to find a picture to go with the word patronizing.

Categories: funny feminism

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