general humor

Pale Shade of High School

Are you one of those people who couldn’t wait to get out of high school? Who went off to college, broke from your shell and then went on to discover yourself? Well, I’m not one those people. I am one of those assholes who loved high school.

How did I not know about this movie?

Yup: Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. Well, except for that summer after freshman year when George lived with Janet in Montauk, came home, broke up with me and dated her throughout my sophomore year. That was a Really Bad Year. But other than THAT: I loved high school.

Mindy Kaling, in her brilliantly funny book, ‘Is Everyone Hanging Out With Me?’ talks about those who peak in high school turning out to be losers. Personally, I feel like I peaked when my junior high classmates chanted, “Cathy! Cathy! Cathy!” in the hallway to help get me on the ballot for class president, so I’m hoping that peaking even earlier than high school excuses me from sucking now.

But, the thing is, I feel like in many ways I judged things better in high school than I do now and — frankly — I’m constantly trying to get back to that state of knowing who and what I like and being able to size both people and things up from a single conversation or moment.

If there is any greater evidence for how attuned we were in high school, I challenge you to have a conversation with someone you really didn’t like when you were 15 years old and see if  you like them any more now. My guess is that you won’t and that trying to enjoy them as an adult will only make you want to put your head through a wall, hide her posts and then feel nothing but relief when she finally unfriends you. That’s generally speaking, of course.

And I’m not even including boys! I knew exactly who I liked and didn’t like in high school. The painful dating I could have saved myself in college had I trusted my high school girl instincts about those mean guys!

Nice hat, Bardagy.

Luckily, I married a nice guy and have reclaimed enough of my high school self for those awkward Swankington moments when a Stepford Wife asks me where I live and I have to tell her my slummy address, thereby causing her eyes to glaze over. I can now tell immediately that I don’t like that lady.

Whoa. Look at that photo! I did not have very good judgment about fashion in high school.

Class of 1984 RULES!

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