Mother I’d Like to Farging Tell Is Doing A Great Job

A gorgeous friend of mine recently had “MILF” yelled at her from a pickup truck window. The fact that a guy would yell that at a beautiful woman did not surprise me as much as some guy who “defended” it by saying, “Its (sic) a compliment to all the mothers out there who work hard for what they have. If they yell it, your (sic) doing something right.” But, I don’t really want to go down the predictable road on which I talk about how — for me —  having “I’d like to fuck you, mom!” is not really a compliment. Or the road down which I tell you I checked that guy’s Facebook profile and — yes — he is single.

What I’d like to talk about are the things I actually would like — as a mom — to have yelled at me from a car window. Here are a few:

  • Mom, you are doing a fucking awesome job with your kids, despite the non-existent sweet spot called “good mothering!”
  • Mom, I’d like to fucking kill the guys who say, “She’d be pretty if she just lost some weight!”
  • Mom, you are so nice to be out walking with your kids, given that this is your only fucking alone time!
  • Mom, what’s with the fucking price of peanut butter?!
  • Mom, I bet you’re so fucking tired. Would you like me to cook dinner tonight?
  • Mom, as a male who actually had a mother, I’m going to stop yelling at you right now, because it’s just. Fucking. Annoying. And I also know that you run a little anxious, so being yelled at from a 2-ton moving vehicle is always a little disconcerting. I hope you get something just for you today!

Fuckin’. Right. Again.

This is my old pickup truck! I never once yelled out its window at a father with his children that I'd like to fuck him.
This is my old pickup truck (at our wedding). Even before I was married, I never once yelled out the window, “FILF!” at some father walking along the street with his kids.

17 thoughts on “Mother I’d Like to Farging Tell Is Doing A Great Job

  1. i want another picture with you loading the truck with hay or children? (again didn’t get notification this was here!)

    1. mostly i would field obnoxious questions such as, “Why would you want to buy a PICKUP TRUCK?!” And then the same person would borrow it to move shit.

  2. You were a MILTBPTF, mom I’d like to borrow pickup truck from. But now I it’s a Volvo wagon. Guess B-ton frowns on tossing the kids in the bed of trucks sitting on lawn chairs to go to Shaw’s or the pick up line. All though that would be an awesome sight, backpacks tossing in the air as your kids and friends climb in Dukes of Hazard style…

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