general humor

6AM COFFEE RUN

This morning I woke up at 5:30am and remembered that the coffee maker was busted. I grabbed my single drip cone and discovered that I was out of filters.

I reused the filter from yesterday (I know) and added 2 scoops of fresh coffee for luck. Loaded with the resulting tepid cup-of-torture in my system, I headed to Starbucks.

“Sadly, the 4×4 has become an acceptable alternative to Mercedes or BMW for the pompous, self-important driver…To use them for the school run, or even in cities or towns at all, is completely stupid.”
~Charles S. King, Range Rover designer

Arrived at Starbucks at 6am (opening time, if you are taking notes) and there was a brand new, white Land Rover parked outside. I smiled and thought to myself: Look, Catherine! It’s The Universe telling you that you have something in common with the people you stereotype about (okay, loathe — whatever; I was giving them a chance).

I walked into the shop and attempted to peg which of the two guys was the driver: the one sitting and reading the paper or the one on  his  laptop. I happily picked Mr. Laptop and proceeded to the counter.

I ordered my Americano (to paint my house!) and heard this horrible, annoying snapping sound. I looked around and there was this short guy who was waiting for his drink at the back of the shop. He was snapping his finger to I-don’t-know-what, but he wasn’t keeping beat with the song that was playing and that made the snapping sound even worse.

He walked past me, snapping away, with nary a smile for me in return. I followed him outside (he didn’t even smile when he saw my dog in the Volvo!)  and he drove off in THE BRAND NEW WHITE LAND ROVER!

Stereotype: confirmed — Catherine Bardagy Winchild 1, Universe 0.

This is my husband’s dream car. Little does he know that this car is reserved for trust fund babies living in Newport, Rhode Island or Basalt, Colorado.

Categories: general humor

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6 replies »

  1. At least in Basalt, it would be useful and he could pretend that he really needs a testosterone pumped behemoth. (Of course any lesbian could tell you that a Subaru Outback would still be more practical, even in Colorado!)

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