The Venn Diagram of What My Family Can Eat

Every other summer, my family makes the trek across the U-S-A! U-S-A! and then heads north to another country. That country is called CANADA and it is one of our favorite places on earth. First of all, we have family who live there, so it’s always nice to see them. Second of all, I checked, and there are no vagina-sized-bible selling craft stores there. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay, Canada!

Traveling is a challenge for us, because 75% of us are on strict food regimens (and 25% are picky). We have digestive disorders ranging from Ulcerative Colitis to Irritable Bowel Syndrome to severe food sensitivities. I’m sure if I worked for a big corporation, the owner could help me solve all our digestive woes, but — until then — I prepare foods according to various food regimens to help my family not cry out in pain every 30-seconds.

The food regimens include the Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD), a completely badass regimen that calls for absolutely NO complex carbs (no brown rice or sweet potatoes, even!). Anyone who is on it is Completely Adorable AND spends a FUCKLOAD of time in a kitchen.

Also for our eating pleasure we have the low-Fodmap regimen: newer, but taking the digestive world by STORM. That’s probably because it was developed in New Zealand, a country where ZERO douchebags are controlling their female employees’ birth control coverage. Lastly, we have a general soy-free/partial-vegan/low-something-something acid regimen.

Traditionally when we’ve traveled to Canada, I’ve written out a list of all the foods my family can and cannot eat. Needless to say, it was always confusing and of little help. THIS  year, I decided to make a Venn diagram that explains everything clearly and simply. Here it is — the Venn Diagram of What My Family Can Eat. It’s so easy to understand, a female employee can understand it!


13 thoughts on “The Venn Diagram of What My Family Can Eat

  1. When I think of your family and my family eating together, I think: AVOCADO. Not as an acronym, but as a thing we can and will all eat. Can you please reassure me that this is true? I don’t see it on the whoo hoo list.

    1. UGH. sadly this is not on the high fructose, but I could have added it to the — oh wait! — there is no R/13yo/me overlap (it was physically impossible I think to overlap w/ R. AVO WOULD BE ON IT, though.

      On Tue, Jul 29, 2014 at 8:50 AM, Writing Out Loud wrote:


    2. wait, what i wrote b/4 is not true. there’s JUST no R and Me overlap (that really was impossible). But, i could add avo to apples (thank you for caring).

      1. I know R eats avocados. This means YOU do not? I am a bad friend. I never picked up on this.

  2. So on this diagram, each color circle is one of YOU GUYS? S is yellow, C is light blue, Navy is adorable and R is red? I will be referring back to this.

    1. you figured out who was who! But, you cannot refer back to this! the whole point was to make it look CONFUSING so the point was made about how there is no simple and easy chart. It’s a fucking shit show.

  3. Katy wins a prize for indirectly directing me to your site. Don’t know which one in your family is the “severe food sensitivities” but bells are ringing in my head…have I found a twin? Check in soon on my new baby blog and lets be friends.

    I still haven’t gotten to the Me of the She Her D and Me story, but I will soon. Food at FFL? Protein shake I brought from OH, berries (thank the good f*ing Lord the pineapple and watermelon were not touching any of the other fruits), and bacon. :)

    Any lettuce there left me feeling like I could have been on Laura’s list of complainers who had digestive issues. But that’s just me.

    I love avocados and have embraced a garlic-free guacamole, when I’m in my kitchen for that FUCKLOAD amount of time cooking what I can eat. Which feels like “air” most days.

    Your Venn diagram made my head swim.

    1. hello! thank you for reading and for SWEARING!

      I’m sorry for your food stuffs. :(. it is hugely annoying and even once figured out…it is STILL annoying! I know those “air” food days all too well, when NOTHING agrees. They are No. Fun.

      I hope you write some thing about the YOU and food on your blog, which is lovely.

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