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Words I Can Say

I can say MORON. I can also say SPAZZY. My 65 year-old cousin CANNOT say SPAZZY.

HOBO, that’s fine. DOUCHEBAG, very popular.

FUCKTARD? Not really. Fucktard is dangerously close to RETARD, and retard — today– is a  BIG no-no. The thing is, I would never even refer to someone who was mentally retarded as being “mentally retarded.” I would say they were “mentally delayed.” So, I wouldn’t mind RETARD coming back into fashion, because I think that that word serves a useful purpose in describing people who ARE NOT mentally delayed, but who are — in fact — completely retarded, you know — like people who use the word FAGGOT.

dad

I can say my dad looks GREAT in this suit!

Carry on, BITCHEZ!

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9 replies »

  1. Retard must always be said with the accent in the first syllable a la Zack Galafinakis in The Hangover in order to not be offensive.

  2. We used to call someone a ‘Dang Tard’ (during the 80s) when they’d do something absurd. I have to admit, I have difficulty with the r word, and cringe when I slip. Worse than anything is the N word, which inflames me in a nanosecond and I’m not afraid to show it.

  3. My Pennsylvania (exotic) cousin used to call people “a total sped” for an insult when we were in middle school. I thought it meant like a stoner and brought it back it recently (within the decade) to try to be all retro/Valley Girl Joe told me it’s a slur for special ed! Sorry.

    What about SUCKS? Sucks used to mean PERFORMS FELLATIO UPON! And now even a Kindergarten teacher might say, “Aw, your crayon broke? That sucks.”

    Semiotics!

    • Using SUCKS makes me feel like my vocabulary is in the toilet, but it does get the point across! I now need to know what makes a Pennsylvania cousin exotic.

    • I remember “total sped!” I’m cracking up thinking of you using it in front of Joe, having a completely different interpretation of its meaning.

      I use SUCKS, unless it’s origin meaning pops into my head, which stops me in my tracks. Unlike DOUCHEBAG, where I can use and think of its meaning Without Incident.

  4. I had curling iron induced Something About Mary hair the other day. Much laughter with the husband. You made me laugh today CBW!

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