Let me start with a humble request. Please tell me who invented the low rise jean. Was it someone who wanted anorexic women to have more frequent urinary tract infections?
I am not judging you for wearing them. I WEAR THEM. I wear them because somehow I managed to convince myself that they made my ass look great. Do you know WHY they make my ass look great? Because they sit so low, the back pockets are practically behind my knees.
I was in a rush to make a flight the day I bought my last pair. (Yes, I have subjected myself to these Rosemary’s Baby jeans TWICE now; the only possible explanation being that I am an asshole.). This is how the jeans fit when I asked the nice sales lady, “Do these fit me? I’m not really used to wearing jeans this tight.”
What nice sales lady told me:”They DO fit you. Plus, they’ll stretch.” Here is the side-view that convinced me to buy them:
WARNING: I will never wash these jeans.
Only 45+ days later, well past the return date, would I learn that in Sexy Low Rise Jeans language, the word “stretch” means: having to remove your belt and pull your low rise jeans down to your crotch so your vagina can BREATHE.
Don’t worry! I found the perfect pants. I refer to them as my perimenopausity pants, because when I brought them home, my husband looked at them and said, “They look like maternity pants.” THEY ARE A DREAM COME TRUE. I give you PROOF!
I love you, perimenopausity pants.
Side view provided as evidence of cute butt in perimenopausity pants.
That is all. Please enjoy your day in comfort.
Categories: something for the ladies
Purple maternity jeans! I like the new look of WOL.
I know! They are the most DIVINE purple. the picture doesn’t do them justice. Thanks for noticing the new look. It’s a work in progress.
PS; I bet you look gorgeous in ALL jeans.
Your blog got a new look! And no more snow!
i want purple pants.
they are the greatest purple ever!
Bring on Thanksgiving dinner in those Barney colored jeans! I love them! Bend over with confidence. BC of low ride pants, I’m going to get a tattoo on my lower back with an arrow pointing down…”Insert Coin Here”.
ha! they DO look VERY barney in that picture. that’s perfect. just THINKING about bending over in low rise jeans hurts my lower abdomen.
now that I have TWO sets of these perimenopausity pants, I am HAPPY. I am happy, happy, happy.