general humor

That Time My Mom Almost Ran Over David Letterman

When you grow up with a mentally ill mother, you don’t know she’s mentally ill. You just think she’s kinda different. But David Letterman? He figured out my mom was a complete nut job within three minutes of meeting her. Yes! My mom met David Letterman! Here’s how the story goes…

My mom was driving down a busy road in Wilton, Connecticut, where Letterman used to live. Dave was jogging on the road, facing traffic, when my mom came around the INSIDE of a corner, couldn’t see Dave running and came so close to hitting him that he had to jump off the road and into the woods.

My mom stopped her car, BACKED UP to where Letterman was still making his way out of the woods, rolled down her passenger side window and said, “Are you okay? I’m so sorry! You know you were running on the wrong side of the road!”

Letterman, now reaching the road says, “Lady! You almost killed me!! You’re telling me I did something wrong?!”

My mom: “I know… I know… I’m very sorry… but when you’re on the inside of a curve, you should cross over to the other side of the road. I couldn’t see you!”

Letterman: “You have got to be kidding me. You almost hit me! How am I the one who did something wrong?!”

Mom: “I know! I said I was sorry! But no one can see you if you’re facing traffic on the inside of a curve!”

Letterman then leans on my mom’s car, looks straight into her window and says, “Lady, you know what you are? You’re KOOKY!”

Yup. David Letterman discerned more about my mom’s personality in that single interaction than I had figured out in 25 YEARS. But wait! There’s more!!

My mom, knowing I was a huge Letterman fan, calls me and tells me the entire story. The two of us sit on the phone, laughing hysterically.

I hang up and — as you might expect — all I want to do is share the story. I think about who I know who’s as as big a Letterman fan as I am and would LOVE this story. The answer: Sandy Haggerty.

I call Sandy, tell him the whole story and the first thing he says to me is, “Cathy, Letterman told that story on his show last night.”

OHMYGAWD!!!!!

Not only did Letterman TELL the story during his monologue, but — at the end — he looked RIGHT INTO THE CAMERA and said, “Lady, you know what you are? You’re KOOKY!”

I’ve told this story countless times and other people have also seen the episode. I’ve never seen it! I’ve binged it a hundred times, but can never find the clip.

So, that’s it! That’s when my mom had a Brush With Greatness and almost KILLED the man who INVENTED The Brush With Greatness.

The funniest thing is, even though Letterman was spot on about my mother, my mom was ALSO right. You should NEVER face traffic when you’re running on the INSIDE of a curve. No one can see you!! That guy is lucky to be alive.

letterman_justy

Categories: general humor

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13 replies »

  1. I’m a little amazed that I do. Did I dream it? Did he have another jumping-into-the-woods-brush-with-death that I’m unaware of? How many times did he lean into the camera and talk to one specific crazy lady calling her KOOKY? I was HEAVY into Letterman at the time, never missing a show. But I can’t remember anything from last week. Uh oh.

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