The Real World — Swankington

Over the last few Barrington school committee meetings, residents voiced their support — or opposition — to the decision about the later middle/high school start times. The comment that consistently received the most Yeah!s from the crowd was, “Early school start times prepare our kids for the real world.” (And, yes, school committee meetings actually include Yeah!s from the crowd, which I find […]

Birth of the (Almost) Cool

For some reason (having to do with “too many social workers”? Still not exactly sure) my family and I left our home in Vermont and moved to Rhode Island, where the VERY first thing a Providence mom said to me on my son’s first day of preschool was, “Where are you going to send your son […]

Oh, Ho, Ho It’s Magic

I am not a religious person. (Although, I did once pray to Jesus asking him to have a member of the no-blacks-no-Jews-all-white golf club in town fall off one of the course’s bridges while he was crossing in his golf cart and land in the tidal inlet. He wouldn’t get hurt! I’m not a sadist. I […]

The Art of Hating Inanimate Objects

Don’t worry! I still hate LIVING things, like bitchy Stepford Wife Realtors and bad Rhode Island drivers. Those guys still get lots of my middle finger. But why stop at douchebags who drive through crosswalks (WHILE I’M WALKING IN THEM!) when I can also hate my new oven? Yep. Hate it. Why? Have you ever tried to clean my new stove top? […]

Where Are You Going?

I recently took 8 flights. That’s 8, as in: E-I-G-H-T. This time, I managed to make every connection. Thank you. Thank you very much. Also, on every one of these flights, I wondered where all the people were going. Seriously! Why are all these people flying to Oregon the first week in December? Why are you leaving […]