The Very Last Word On the Best Way to Load Your Dishwasher

You are probably saying to yourself, “Oh, there’s always that ONE person in the house who THINKS they know the best way to load the dishwasher.” Well, aren’t you adorable and I’m glad we’re not married. FACT: There isn’t always one person in the house who thinks s/he can load the dishwasher the best. There is […]

Twitter is from Mars, Facebook is from Venus

I have tried to NOT make fun of twitter, for fear of putting bad juju out into the universe, but I can no longer hold my tongue. Twitter is the weirdest social media site I’ve ever experienced. And I’ve experienced two. First of all, there’s this weird hierarchy established by when you first JOINED twitter, which is […]

What I Ask the Universe For In My Darkest Moments

Dear Universe, I know I’ve already asked to be paid for my humor writing, and I want to thank you in advance for that, because I KNOW It’s Just A Matter of Time before that all happens. But I was wondering if I could also add PERSONAL CHEF to my list of requests. I know it’s a […]

How to Look Sexy In Low Rise Jeans

Let me start with a humble request. Please tell me who invented the low rise jean. Was it someone who wanted anorexic women to have more frequent urinary tract infections? I am not judging you for wearing them. I WEAR THEM. I wear them because somehow I managed to convince myself that they made my ass […]