Dear Teenage Self

I started writing these joke-y Dear Teenage Self posts on my twitter account the other day and I could have gone on and on. There’s so much to tell my teen self! First, here are the ones from twitter, in case you missed them: Dear Teen Self, Invent something called the Paleo Diet. It’s JUST like Atkins, […]

A Good Corporation Is Hard To Find

When I was a little girl, I HATED corporations. I thought they were gross! Then something happened in 6th grade. Our class went on a week-long, overnight field trip to this nature center on the Connecticut shore. I ended up getting this MASSIVE crush on a corporation. By the end of 7th grade, a corporation […]

That Man Would Be Gorgeous If He Just Lost Some Weight

You know how women always say, “He’d be so good looking if he just lost some weight?” We say that because we don’t CARE about men being intelligent, funny, accomplished or having a great personality. It’s all about the looks for us. Women can’t fall in love with an unattractive man and then grow to […]

Why the 1970s are the Best Decade

Oh how I loved the 1970s! I know it was the decade of the AMC Pacer and all, but there was so much more! In the 1970s, I was never afraid of a fruit or vegetable. Now? I’m absolutely petrified of non-organic apples. Why? Jason, Marty and Jennifer! Do you not read the memes about […]

The High School Reunion Guide for Guys

It’s high school reunion time! I love this time of year. Why? Because I went to two different high schools and I’m informally known in certain circles as The Reunion Whore. We women don’t really need a guide for going to our reunions, mostly because our guide has already been written. IN EACH AND EVERY […]

The Un-Rules

Just thinking about the existence of The Rules makes me want to send those two authors to Las Vegas in the middle of the summer while 1,000 of the nation’s local radio DJs are in town for a conference and then force them all to attend a Cirque du Soleil show where one of the […]

All My Exes are R’s

The first time I learned that one of my ex-boyfriends was a republican, I responded with something like this: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!!!!! YOU’RE A REPUBLICAN!?!?!?!!?!?!?! I had been living in Vermont for almost 18 years at that point, and — frankly — I don’t think I’d ever had a dinner, worked, hiked, swam, or […]

God’s Will & Grace

I know the god’s will rape thing is weeks old, but I can’t get it out of my head. I mean, assessing god’s will is pretty much the business of The God, don’t you think? As in, “You dense, irritating beast of burden! I am All Powerful. You don’t get to ascertain my will!! Stick […]

Republican Archetypes

As someone who hates talking politics, but loves posting original political jokes on Facebook, I’ve bumped up against a number of different Republican types who’ve responded to my hilarity. Let’s take a look at some of the archetypes! The Really Smart Best Friend From High School Who Used to Vote Republican but Will Vote for […]

MAN VS. GUY

Do you think that feminism should be funny, just so you like its message? Does the fact that feminism has Nothing To Do With You confuse you? Guess what!? That means YOU ARE A GUY! Now, by “you are a guy,” I don’t mean you’re not a woman. No, I mean you’re not a Man. […]